“Don’t think that” “You’re ok” “You’re safe” “Everything will be ok” These are just a few of the phrases that are part of my daily repertoire in the midst of some of the hardest times and struggles I’ve had to date. This post comes as 2018 comes to a close, and the start of 2019 arrives as the clock strikes midnight tonight. I’d be lying if I said this year wasn’t a challenge, but I’d also be doing 2018 an injustice if I didn’t give it credit for lots of good times too. Nothing is EVER perfect, nothing ever seems to go exactly to plan, but maybe in the midst of chaos is where we find the most meaning. This year has been full of lessons. It’s easy to beat yourself up wondering why you made mistakes or bad decisions, but in the end, I can truly vouch for the fact that the hard times are where you really grow and realise your own resilience. It’s been nearly 3 years since I moved to Canada, on January 5th I’ll be 24 (which seems so old!) and Adam and I are still here stronger than ever. I don’t really have anything figured out, I don’t know who I’m supposed to be yet, but we have each other and that’s enough. Moving across the world is hard, people. You feel as though you have different parts of yourself in different places all the time and you never really feel 100% settled. My goals for 2019 include finding out how to belong, how to be true to myself, how to believe in myself, and be the best version of me I can be for those around me. I plan to work on my mental health with determination and to find answers wherever possible. I plan to find joy in the little things, and be thankful for everything I have. I plan to be content, to find happiness in every way I can, and to attract success, love, and great relationships into my life. 2018, at times you nearly destroyed me, but you built my character and taught me invaluable lessons too. You brought me love, adventure, discovery, epiphanies and change. You brought me pain, you brought me joy, but most of all you brought me another year with those I love, and more than that, I can’t really ask for. Here’s to a 2019 of happiness and abundance, I’m thankful for everything on this journey. I wonder where we’ll be this time next year? There’s only one way to find out.. Happy New Year! Until next time, Estelle x
