I feel like it's been forever since I was able to sit and write, or sit still at all for that matter... 6 months to be exact. I don't have a real reason for not writing. I guess whenever I thought about it, I found it difficult to think of something to write about. Sure, there was lots going on, but I never had that moment where I got this uncontrollable urge to just splurge my thoughts into a post. One thing I will never do, is force content. The bones of this whole "blogging" thing for me began with honesty, vulnerability and rawness. Maybe that seems kind of intense, and please don't misunderstand me - I love to inject humour into things. However, I have to be real. What's the point otherwise? Today though, I got that splurge feeling. As I stared at all the boxes piling up around our apartment ready for our move to small town Hope this weekend, I reflected on all that has gone on, all that has changed, and how I never would have been able to picture this a year ago no matter how hard I tried. It always fascinates me how life changes right in front of us and we don't even notice, and then we look back and we see that there's so much that's different already. These last 6 months have been exciting, boring, challenging, exhausting, amazing and frightening. I would be lying if I said that it's all been a breeze, because it hasn't. Life isn't like that, none of us are polished to perfection all the time (or ever, in some cases) and that's ok. For example (lets be real yo) I'm sat writing this on the floor of my bathroom, my bum is numb but I'm too lazy to move, I'm wearing my dinosaur pyjamas and I have a mosquito bite the size of Neptune on my thigh, I have a face covered in some supposed miracle zit cream, and my hair pulled pack into a bun just so it's off my face. Freedom feels good... am I right? Lol. No worries... for the rest of your days... 💃🏼 Anyway, my point being, I guess I didn't have it in me to write before now. You have to have something in your glass before you can pour for someone else, and frankly I've just been exhausted. I've had some of the best times recently, and some of the worst. I've felt like I found myself in some ways, but lost parts of myself too. I've had a crash course in adulthood, and while of course I reap the benefits of my hard earned lessons (don't microwave Chinese food in a non-microwaveable bowl, it WILL set on fire and set the smoke alarm off) it definitely took it's toll. It's hard to realise that you have responsibilities.. for your home, your relationship, your friends, your family, your animals and much more. It's easy to stop taking care of yourself and your needs, especially in regards to mental health. Our mind is everything, and yet, we push it's health back on our list of priorities. I should know better, but I guess it's just another lesson learned. Depression retreat, here I come. ✔️ Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a talent/bad habit for piling so much on my plate that I nearly collapse under it all. I don't know why I do it, but I just do, without even realising. Most recently, we worked hard on the family business in its busiest season, our dogs had puppies, we sold our place, bought a new one, placed an offer on an investment property and then changed our minds, got sick, got better, got sick again, then got kind of better, all while getting ready to move out in to the country boonies as of July 1st. So picture this - away we'll go in the truck.. 5 dogs, a hamster, several fish and snails & two loopy 20-somethings off into the mountains until we reach Hope, the small town with a big heart and a cinema straight from the 50's. It's funny how sometimes you have a vision or an idea, and nobody else seems to see it like you do. People have asked us where we are moving, and at first we would answer smoothly "Hope". Than people's reactions resembled something of complete shock and horror and we began to be more tactful of our responses. "We're moving there because this.. because that.. this is the reason blah blah" but in all honesty, we just believe this is where we are supposed to go. We followed our hearts, I followed my instincts, and here we are less than 48hrs away from our new life there. Some people might not understand moving to a tiny country town with only two supermarkets and a handful of stores, but we do. Once upon a time Vancouver, Surrey, Langley and White Rock were all small towns... now they are cities. Hope is next, I feel it! Plus, it's so beautiful there, and we got A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE. Beyond lucky, and grateful every day. I wanted to document this, because it is a huge milestone for Adam and I as individuals, and as a couple. We've been tested this year, constantly, and here we are stronger than ever. I wonder where we'll be next year... So HOPEward bound it is. We're ready for mountain views, country life and dogs dogs dogs. Have any of you ever moved far away from home? I seem to be an expert at that now.
It might seem daunting, but after all there's always Hope. After that, we're beyond Hope, but we'll deal with it that when we get there.
The words I always say in life defining moments.. "capture it, remember it".
Until next time, Estelle xo
👨🏼🌾👩🏼🌾🐩🐩🐩🐩🐩🐹🐠🐌❤
